Apathy Will Get You Nowhere

by Declan Kitchener

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1.
GTFO 02:33
I've got to get away, From dreary days and stressful evenings, Living to the rhyme and reason, Of learnt routine, perpetual decay, Don't think that I could take another day I've got to start afresh, And rid myself of all my baggage, We'll find out how I will manage, When I jump into the deep end and make a mess, All that I can do is try my best, So come on, don't you know that I am petrified, To take the reigns and live my life, It's always so much easier to stay, I tell you, I must try to overcome, The fear of my life going wrong, And if I can't manage that, I'm here to stay, It hits me, just as I have gone to sleep The challenge and adversity I'll meet, I wish that there was someone left to lead, My ambition's waiting to be freed, I've got to shine a light, Onto the darkest path ahead, To see where I have made my bed, Get comfortable, I'll lay here every night, And pray to someone things turn out all right, So come on, don't you know that I am petrified, To take the reigns and live my life, It's always so much easier to stay, I tell you, I must try to overcome, The fear of my life going wrong, And if I can manage that, I'll be okay.
2.
In each expression you can find a moment I would say out loud, My body language can't deny, emotions ringing true and proud, I'll face the tide Behind my eyes A thought, a glow, You've seen, oh no, Speak to myself, Trust no-one else, Speak for my health, Trust no-one, Inside this room I'm fortified from opportunity and sun, I did not mean to always hide, but that is what I've gone and done. Waiting's free, To meet the sea, And still, I'm dry, Even my eyes, Just passing time, Alone, inside, Speak to myself, Trust no-one else, Speak for my health, Trust no-one.
3.
I've lost my focus, there's a fog upon my brain, Loose information, compressing under strain, A lamp to guide the path, Back to mental order, is what the world will give me last, One day the fog will clear, The sky's a little closer to the ground down here, I've lost my focus, there's a bluring in my eyes, It keeps degrading, annually I'm going blind, A lens to fix my sight, Is what they always give me, but never seems to set me right, I can't tell if you're near, The sky's a little closer to the ground down here, The hope that you would save me, It vanished long ago, I've got to take it on myself to grow, I'm losing focus, distracted all the time, Any plans and process fall quickly out of line, A soul to set me straight, Is what I'm really needing, but circumstance will make me wait, I long to meet you dear, The sky's a little closer to the ground down here.
4.
Count to take three, Take it all in easy steps, Always put your first foot best, Travel where you want to be, Anywhere, Wherever you go, whatever you know, It's all your own, Take a breath, Plan on what you want to say, Never lead your mind astray, Make sure there is nothing left, In your head, Take note of response, but argue your case, Brave heart, keep face, Keep your spirit true, Ignore others, you should be yourself for you, Look around, Take a chance to read the room, You know there'll be a question soon, Waiting on an answer found, Hold your truth, Whatever you say, make sure you believe, This sets, you free, No it's not easy, to be exposed, But every detour, will leave your heart closed, No I've not done it, wish that I could though, Every heartbeat is a heartbeat closer, Keep your spirit true, Ignore others, you should be yourself for you, You should be yourself for you, You should be yourself for you.
5.
Cut It Up 03:06
Say the words, That I don't mean, Just play nice, And keep it clean, Don't try and make a scene, Hold those truths, In little lies, Flash a grin, Steely eyes, No-one will work it out, Nothing to say, so all I can do is to cut it up, Every new day, disguising my truth, yeah, I'll cut it up, Plan my route, To the door, Get away, Don't talk more, If I can help it now, Just keep my cool, Hold my nerve, You will get, What you deserve, Exactly right on cue, Nothing to say, so all I can do is to cut it up, Every new day, disguising my truth, yeah, I'll cut it up, It matters more to you than to others, A darker side of you has been uncovered, You know it's gainless winning when you compare, But you need it like I need air, Cut it up, Nothing to say, so all I can do is to cut it up, Every new day, bring out my truth, yeah, I'll cut it up.
6.
If I could uproot myself, When everything got out of hand, I'd try to be a better man than Lyndon ever got to be, Poor old man, Rising through the world, On the arms of fate, Building this life on the back of your trophies and shame, Waiting on a duel undone, These personages lived long ago, George the Third was witness to, Their quarreling hearts, They are all equal now.
7.
All I ever wanted was a little more than getting by, To look between the chances and guide the path of my live, It's easy to say it, it's harder done, To walk along a different path, I'd hope there'd be no turning back, From morning until evening and then dark until the pinkish sky, Acting out the patterns and routines that swallow up my time, I need to get out more, so I've been told, And if I could only save a day, I'd spend it all in my own way, I'd stay in bed 'til quarter to two, Sound in the comfort that's there's nothing to do, Blasting Innervisions and Revolver in my room, I'd savor every line, Of my wasted time, To paraphrase a friend, in the evening I am my own boss, Who seems content on coasting and on operating at a loss, I could have tried harder, I've no excuse, I'm running at the back of the crowd, I want to try harder, I hope I can, Put my days to better use, And let my ambition loose, Not stay in bed 'til quarter to two, Sound in the comfort that's there's nothing to do, Blasting Innervisions and Revolver in my room, I'll savor every line, I won't waste this time, I promise not to waste this time.
8.
Another chance is what I need from you, Another line is written as you do, And so I sit beside myself, Let's hope that I aim true, A strange journey to this room, The air is charged and I am too, And so I side behind my eyes, and build a bridge to you, Another chance is what it's gonna take, Fix my eyes and race between the lakes, And so I sit inside my head, Let's go for goodness sake, Even in the sun, I can't help but run to your door, A strange journey to this bed, The air is charged against my breath And so I rest beyond my past, so I can rest my head.
9.
I've drawn a line between my good and my bad days, locked them out, It keep mes around, all I need is a letter to knock me out, I started to feel it, Skimming the words and it gives me a reference to myself, Drop me a line if you think this is testing for your health, I wanted to feel it, I wanted better response than merely looking to waste my time away, You know I've only been laughing at the memories, moments, shape my days, I told some lies to myself and to others that keep me here, I don't know why, I but I guess it's a habit that I hold dear, I don't think I felt, Sheltered away from the paths I would follow for too long, The person to blame is a hard truth to swallow, but I'm not wrong, I don't think I felt it, I wanted better response than merely looking to waste my time away, You know I've only been laughing at the memories, moments, shape my days, I don't think I felt, Seems I've been waiting, For saviour or satan, For some force to act upon me, I wanted better response than merely looking to waste my time away, You know I've only been laughing at the memories, moments, shape my days, I've drawn a line between my good and my bad days, locked them out.
10.
Improvise 02:05
Staring out the window, heading westbound, Giving into my instincts, that's my mind now, Journey to answer your call, it's only distance, I've felt alone in the past and I won't miss this, Only just got your call, Only just made the station queue, Never had plans at all, 'Less you count finding things to do, Not going home for a day or so, there's nothing waiting for me, Up in the air, my mind is there and not on what's before me, Staring out the window, heading westbound, Giving into my instincts, that's my mind now, Journey to answer your call, it's only distance, I've felt alone in the past and I won't miss this, Just about here on time, Pretty much got the things I need, Breathing out, feeling fine, Been a bit since I felt this free, Not going home for a day or so, why would I want to be there? Just for a night, I feel alright, no thespian acts required, I hope to court random chance, So simple to learn this dance, Staring out of the window, heading east bound, Given up on my instincts, can't be there now, Journey to answer the call of working business, I know I'll do this again, and I will miss this.
11.
Trapped in a circle of my own design, drawn with obligation, Out of excuses, now I have to try a new amalgamation, A glass half empty given twice, Counter to my own advice, Deliver on a promise made to my young self, Cut out all distractions and I'll aim for the top shelf, Rely on what I do best instead, Relieving all of these dreams from my head, I know exactly what I have to do, start the path with thunder, I've got the right tools for the job, plus my lucky numbers, A glass half full and filled again, Wants to add up in the end, Deliver on a promise made to my young self, Cut out all distractions and I'll aim for the top shelf, Walk free from another life to give you time, Listen to another man to fire your mind, Find some lended ears to get you out of bed, Write these words on paper, get them out of your head, Deliver on a promise that I didn't make lightly, I'm living with my heart, and my head's right behind me, Rely on what I do best instead, Relieving all of these dreams from my head.
12.
Walking a harbour wall, Counting on all the numbers, Waiting for a slip and fall, Driving a narrow lane, Trying my best to help you, Before you're coming round again, Stay in this moment, Don't live behind your eyes, Leave all your problems, And stay with us tonight, Running back up the hill, Counting our buried treasure, In spite of our buried bills, Walking down to the beach, Casual conversations, Ended up pretty deep, Stay in this moment, Don't live behind your eyes, Leave all your problems, And stay with us tonight, The air and the sea are speaking to me, words from another time, Survivors of plans, my favourite bands, these friends that I call mine...

about

Album one. Done.

I mean, over six months behind when I planned to get it done but who's counting?

This is an album about self doubt, lacking direction, and moving 180 miles to try and fix that. Most of these songs were written for a podcast I do with my mate Roger Heathers called The Weekly Song Podcast roughly around that time, with a few exceptions.

Big thanks to Roger Heathers for helping with the initial demos, doing the first mixes, patiently assisting with the final mixes, and generally a great mate and pushing me on when doubts started kicking in. Check out his music elsewhere on this site, it's really excellent.

credits

released April 2, 2021

Most of it: Me

Drums: Itunu Odetokun

Synth, Organ and First Solo (Cut It Up): Roger Heathers

The Cornish Chorus:
Chris Baker
Roger Heathers
Josh James
Sam Macklin
Bo Payne
Sam Wilson
Seb Wilson

Artwork: Trifia

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Declan Kitchener Bristol, UK

A guitarist who doesn't know how he got here and is just kinda rolling with it.

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